I'm having a bad day. I'm looking at what I have right now, and I'm not happy with where I'm sitting.

My bank balance is currently negative 330. I'm no longer a home owner. I'm at the tail end of a second failed marriage. I'm almost $50,000 in debt. My only equity is the car and various personal belongings. The money from selling the Plymouth house is long gone. So is the inheritance from Mom and Dad.

I'm 46 years old, starting over. Again. I don't know how I'm going to do it this time. I haven't figured out why I want to. What's going to happen in the future that's going to make all this worth it? Where is happiness? Who will I have in my life?

I tried making a social life after moving out from Kat and have had a growing string of disappointments. I wasn't looking for romance with anyone. I just wanted reasons to get out of the house. Let's just say... that's not going very well, either.

I still have a glimmer of hope for the future, but it's doing everything it can to fade fast.

I don't know what I'm going to do.